Five Pies/Utterly Delectable: There could not have been anything in this book to make it better than it was. Basically, it was the reviewer's version of perfection. For the record: we love books! We will probably give a lot of five pies. But we'll try to justify the five-pie-ness.
Four Pies/Hungry for More: This one can be the most confusing, because it means that we liked it, we liked it a lot, but it just had a that little "umph" missing that doesn't quite get it to five pies. Sometimes the "umph" in an unexplainable "umph" other times it's because there is a sequel, which we are in fact hungry for.
Three Pies/Satisfied: This book didn't really wow, or exceed any pre-conceived expectations, but it didn't really suck either. It was an "okay" book, but not one worth raving about to everyone you meet.
Two Pies/Not My Kind of Slice: Two pies means that the book didn't really do it for us. It had some strong points, but the weak points outweighed the strong ones.
One Pie/Unsatisfied: This book was so different from what we expected it to be that we were annoyed/bugged/insert verbage of choice here/ with how it ended up going down. It may not have been well written, or it may have had massive plot holes, or it may have been just a step above burnt. This is a book review website, we'll explain why we rate it in the review.
Burnt: This book was one big giant ball of suckage and should not be read, unless your into the whole 'wasting your time' thing...at least that is our humble Pie opinion. We don't give out Burnt's easily.